And with this knife, I stab YOU, but I still bleed.

Listen to this to set the mood

Sometimes, I hate you.

So I try to kill you.

Try to stab you with scissors to cut your face. 

Leave you and your body with superficial cuts yet unbleeding wounds. 

Leave your remains scattered on my floor.

Trying so desperately to etch out your damned face and carve out your presence.

Other times, I find myself gluing you back together. 

Because the space you leave is to scarring to me.

That emptiness just resonates, and it hits too close to home.

Most times I want to capture you. 

Cementing you, so paper and plastic could hold your smile forever.

There are so many of you; smiling, looking down on me, laughing or looking at me with happiness in your eyes.

Other times, your smile is just as fake as the plastic I put you in.

Don't get me wrong; the smiles are full and radiant. But eyes are vacant and dull, melancholy and quite hollow. The windows of your soul show the cannibalistic ghosts that are inside you, feeding on the corpse of your joy.

And anyone can see with great clarity that we are so separated, we are miles away from one another, set apart by our malice and misery, even though throughout every still-frame we still remain side by side.

And there are so many of you.

You are my mother, father, sister. Sometimes, you, my love, sometimes grow cold and spiteful.

I've even been left to cut and battle with MYSELF, trying so desperately to separate the YOU from ME. But sometimes they all blend into one.

So I am forced to etch out my own existence.

Still try so hard to disconnect myself from the you that lies within.

And I'm left encased, captured, locked in this room with thousands of yous on paper staring down with your many eyes.

Left to attempt to live vicariously off of these stale memories of yesterday.

My fingers tremble on your photograph.

I scream.

Cry.

Scream.

Is anyone listening?

So I fall to my knees.

My own body buried and drowning in the snips and broken paper pieces of your hearts

Forced to continue.

Continue making these cuts on your body, decapitating your heads, and ripping your hearts, limbs and more.

Doing this dirty work with my clean hands.

Forced to continue.

Continue to feed my hungry heart off of rotting smiles or phantom touches that I can still feel. 

As if you were still next to me.

All the while, letting it happen.

Letting myself become more haunted.

by the lingering you.

still present on the broken photograph.

and hanging in the memories in my mind.

ABC, You're confusing me- (What Love Is)

Listen to this to set the mood.

v

v

v

Ada was on her back, staring at the stars, the muggy heat attacking her body, making her skin weep with sweat.

Bright light filtered through the night as she heard a car's tires crunch on pebbles nearby, finally her friend had arrived.

Climbing to her feet, she ran to the car.

"Dude, finally you came, I've been waiting out here forever." she stopped to catch her breath, smiling at her friend.

Ev unlocked the car and beckoned her to get in the passenger side.

Finally fumbling inside, Ada closed the door and buckled her seat beat, settling for the long drive.

Gliding out of the pavement, they peeled out of the park/nature trail parking lot.

Heading for? Nowhere, it seems. They were wanderers. Full tank of gas for the empty road ahead.

Indigo and bubble gum pink hues were stretched out in the dim-lit sky and Ev rolled down the window to accept the night chill with open arms.

Jets of wind tousled their clothes and hair. Racing down the road, they belted out their whoops and hollers, tearing out their city souls and let their wolves climb out their skin in the young night.

Kids, they were.

"Love." They spoke at the same time.

Mindlessly grabbing hold of each others hand, looking in each other's eyes, even though they were still hurling into the sunset and moonrise all the same.

Nothing would stop them, timeless (screw the clock, they would have their infinity), they couldn't stop looking, couldn't stop the tug of their own hearts, just thirsting for hearing the other's melodic laughter, seeing the other's warm smile, they couldn't stop their brimming love or envisioning this moment they had right now.

Only, they never said 'love', never.

Peaking sideways was the only way to look at the other's hand, never thinking that they would have that luxury to feel it's grip firsthand.

Questioning time and time again, why do I feel this way about her? In both their minds.

Raised eyebrows and tentative smiles, they did exchange, until the voices broke into the night: "Evelyn?" she whispered into the darkness and the "Ada"  when she answered back

Strong emotions passed to and from both of them, and finally Ada made her move, "Where are we going?" she spoke softly, and Ev didn't know what to say; to what is she referring: their growing love for one another or the current road they were on?

"Towards the Now." she spoke finally, giving Ada an ambiguous answer.

Underneath the streetlights, they paused in the road, caught by a red light, blocking movement.

Very carefully, Ada spoke again, voice cutting silence like a blade.

"Where are we going? Seriously. I mean, who are we anyway? What are we doing?"

X.

"Yahoos, unknown and crazy ones at that. Dreamers. People. Crazy enough to believe in love." Evelyn spoke softly in the glow.  

(in truth) Zion is the destination that lie ahead.